Thursday, May 7, 2015

A Letter to My Daughter's Illness

Dear OTC,

You've only been in my life for a year and that year has been downright the worst year of my life. I never knew what it was like to truly fail or feel completely helpless before in my life. Up to this point I’ve been good at everything I have ever tried, maybe not great but at least I felt in control. You have tested my patience, strained my other relationships, and caused me to doubt myself. You have given me some of the worst days of my life so far. You have made me feel alienated from everyone and everything. You cause my daughter to struggle sometimes daily and all I can do is stand by and watch and try to comfort her.

Jasmine and her "friend" Olaf 
You came into my life at a bad time. We had just had our second child and you threatened to take my Jasmine. I didn’t know I could ever feel so divided like I had to choose which child to hold more tightly. You scared us into realizing just how serious her condition was. I did not know what it was like to hold my baby and fear for her life until I met you. You have shown me how fragile life can really be.

But this isn’t a sad story. You gave me answers (thank you) and brought me great pain. I live my life knowing everything happens for a reason and I know there is a reason you and I were introduced. As I have gotten to know you better I realize that you must be preparing me for something greater. If I can handle this then I can handle anything. Everyday still feels like a roller coaster but we are learning together. Above all, you have taught me how to keep a bright young girl healthy and how to see her truly thrive. Every bad day she has gives me the ability to thank God that I know what good days look like.

I am looking forward to a bright future.

For better or for worse you are now a part of our family.. now and forever…

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